Has it happened to you??
I ask because it’s happened to me too often, most recently with two would-be band members.
I’m not trying to put them on blast, but…they’re both on my mailing list, so I may get some blowback.
I still love and respect them, it’s just amusing to me at this point that two people whom I’ve known for years — one since we were in middle school together, the other for whom I produced an EP over a decade ago — would say, in so many words, “I quit,” via text message.
We had our first band meeting back in March, and everyone was on board, we were all on the same page. Our first rehearsal was during the second week of April, and it went quite well.
A couple of days after that rehearsal, the former recording client messaged me, saying the band wasn’t what he thought it would be. The other didn’t return to any rehearsals, and after two and a half months (!!!) finally messaged that he couldn’t continue on with the group due to family and work, two issues we discussed at length prior to his initial involvement.
Since that first rehearsal, I haven’t seen these two gentlemen, although I see them posting on Facebook all the time.
What it all comes down to, regardless of what industry one is in or what type of job needs to be done, is something called “GWC.”\
“GWC” stands for Gets it, Wants it, and has the Capacity to do it.
The former recording client got it, and had the capacity, but didn’t want it. My good friend from school got it and wanted it, but didn’t have the capacity in his life to do it.
In order to build a great team, everyone has to get it, want it, and have the capacity to do it. There are no exceptions.
But why break up via text message?? Why not call me? Were they afraid I’d try to talk them into remaining with us? Did they not want to hurt my feelings? I may never know because…
We are living in an age where it is easier to not have the difficult conversations required in life.
People would rather email than meet up, would rather text than call, rather “ghost” somebody than say what’s really on their mind.
I hate fence-sitters, and I’d rather hear “I hate you” than nothing at all. At least I’d know where I stand.
Why is everybody so afraid to say the hard thing?? The truth will set us free!
At this point in my life, I’ve learned that nothing is permanent. Every relationship, job, event, belief, etc. has an end somewhere down the line, it’s just a matter of when and how.
Some things end badly, but not all things, and things don’t have to end badly unless you make it so.
Needless to say, the two would-be members have each returned to their own personal status quo. They are content and happy with their lives, and the stress of embarking on a new and different musical journey is no longer weighing on them.
Moreover, they have both been replaced by members who share the core values of the group — sacrifice, measurable growth, accountability, reputation for excellence, time, intensity, and respect.
Everyone is happy.
Still, I would have appreciated a phone call.
Visit the archive: https://therealjohnkay.wordpress.com
Let he who would move the world first move himself. — Socrates
Copyright © 2017 John Kay, All rights reserved.